April 14, 2002

(Community : Story of Glory Hom)
Glory's Diary,

Thanks for caring and taking to me. I’m sorry if it seemed like I brushed you off this afternoon with my seemingly unwillingness to respond. It’s just that everyone’s been asking me the same question ….. “on how are you? you know, we’re praying for you.” & I mean it’s really thought and it really shows that you care, but I never know how to respond. All I can say is an “Okay”, I’m feeling ok (yeah…..right now, but I douno if I can say the same tomorrow or next week). It’s not really okay! Dad thinks I’m a superwoman……okay not really, but he thinks I’m strong, but I’m really scared. Everyone thinks “oh….she’s gonna get chemo” well that’s not what I’m thinking about! I’m scared that the doctor’s gonna tell me I have to amputate my leg! I mean I have gotten over the fact that I need chemo long ago! I can’t except the fact I could lose my leg over this. This is what I have not told anyone. I dun want pity. I  I don’t want to self pity either. I don’t want to feel like a damn handicap who can’t even get out of her bed to go to the bathroom & depends on some pushing nurse aid to bring me the sticky bedpan! I don’t want to walk with a cane forever & have a proscetic leg! I don’t want the extra bonvs points that I get for being handicapped to get into college! Just want to go be a regular teenage. You know….go to dances the prom, sweet six teens, ice skating, skiing, Gum. Why can’t I do anything right? I don’t want to be a burden on my parents, a burden to society! And I couldn’t even look into your eyes when we were talking’cus you made me nervous. I was nervous because I have a crush on you. Ha! Show some of my “teen” side….jopefully if I still have one.