Aug. 29, 2005 Glory's Diary

(Community : Story of Glory Hom)
Glory's Diary, Glory's Story

Why didn’t come to you? Sigh….I don’t know why I drag myself down pathes that I know won’t lead …..anywhere. God, do you think I’ll ever get married. Is that in your plan for me? I hope it is. Hmmmm maybe its just me hormone acting up.

Guess what the hospital ran our of IVIG….or the whole country is short on it.

I’m having thoughts of being a per-med again I feel like that since AiWen passed away, I always wonder if her doctor, did enough to save my friend.

She was on a lot of antibiotics, and her count were really low. Her body was continuously collecting fluid. She was sent to ICU for 24 hrs, lasiks (drug help release body fluid) it didn’t help much. Her life ended with liver failure, Kidney failure, and pneumonia in her lungs. Not to mention a blind eye due to fungus infections in the sinus. Why didn’t the doctors try to increase her WBC using all possible methods. She was only on GMCSF. From what I remembered when I was at Sloan & my counts were low, Doctors thought of, using both GCSF and GMCSF together, & if that didn’t work, the last option would’ve been to transfuse WBC. Could her death have been prevented?

I guess no matter what questions I ask the doctors, it won’t her back. I think my biggest question is for God. Why did Ai Wen suffered so much before her death? Losing an eye, being in pain?? Was death her mercy to relieve her of her suffering?

Did she in her final days accept Christ?? Is she in heaven now?

Would it be fair if she wasn’t in heaven? Why would God allow someone to be born of this would only to suffer & them taken away at such an early age. And then to be reject to live with God where them can’t be pain that is unfair no?

God is more fit to place judgment on  what is fair or not, so when we think like that is that the way God thinks??