Be a Good Actor...

(Community : Story of Glory Hom)
father's words, glory's story,

Be a Good Actor in the Drama of Life

Those who have played a main character in a drama will probably not want to be in a supporting role, for fear of being neglected or overshadowed by the main character. Those who have always been a supportive character will probably never understand the loneliness of those who played a main character.

Two years ago, in order to help Glory find a match for her bone marrow transplant, Christian Media Limited initiated a bone marrow donation movement throughout Hong Kong. They interviewed her for a TV Special. For the first time, Glory became the main character of a program.

In 2003, while still in her high school senior year, and hoping to become the valedictorian of her graduating class, Glory campaigned in her wheelchair. She asked that I buy her lots of candies to give out in school. I asked her if that would really help.

She replied, “Of course, from presidential to city government elections, don’t all candidates pass out candies? They pass out candies of tax reduction or of other civic issues….I give people candies that everybody likes, it is just as effective. My opponent does even better, she passes out chocolates.”

“No,” she replied. “If everyone thinks it is appropriate, I will do it. I want their votes.”

The closer it was to the day of voting, the earlier she arrived at school for her campaign. She looked more mature in the way she dressed, and she appeared even more friendly. She told me she and another classmate were strong candidates, with a very promising opportunity to become a valedictorian.

However, she lost. A small handful of votes had prevented her from becoming the star. In reviewing the reasons for her defeat, Glory came up with 3 possibilities:

1. Her opponent had stronger social skills. She had missed 8 months of regular class time due to her chemotherapy, resulting in a weaker relationship with her classmates.

2. After her bone cancer treatment, she was confined to a wheelchair and crutches, casting a negative impact on her physical image. Her opponent wore sexier clothing, so Glory chose to go for a more mature look.

3. Finally, she learned that the mother of her opponent was the chairperson of the PTA, a strong background.

I felt that although she did not win, she enjoyed the process of the campaign. For someone as sick as she was, she chose not to hide in the dim corner of her classroom in wait for sympathy. Instead she came forward and campaign to become the class representative. She was excited that so many had voted for her!

Two years later, without campaigning, nor voting, or any psychological preparation, Glory was being placed in the position of a star in order to save herself and to save others. She did well. Even as her father, I cried as I watched the program. Although we could not tell how many people were touched by her program, we knew how many people were actually saved by her show. At least three people emailed her afterwards to say that youths who originally had wanted to commit suicide were touched by her program and her website. Because they saw how she had fought cancer to live while they had despised their lives, they turned back from their suicidal thoughts. Another elderly woman with cancer trusted her life in Jesus after she watched Glory’s program. I conducted a Christian funeral for her when she passed away.

Later in reading Glory’s diary, I discovered that she was not pleased with that particular experience. She felt that the person we saw was not her real self. She did not have enough psychological preparation for the interview, and felt that she had not interviewed well. Some assigned gestures were by the request of the director and the camera crew. It was not authentic enough. Her thoughts were not clear during the exchange, her Cantonese was not perfect. She was upset that people saw her as a hero in the battle against cancer. In reality she felt weak and helpless. She was being placed in the arena, to act out this life and death drama. She stood there among the applauses and appreciation of thousands,

yet who would truly understand her loneliness, her tears, and her pain behind all this? She did not ask for applause, bouquets or fame. She fought on, simply, to live. From that moment on, she loved to be in a supportive role, to be an ordinary person. From her diary, many times she has asked, ‘why can’t I be allowed to grow up like any ordinary youth?’

Finally, Glory did have a chance to be on stage in a musical performance as she had so wished. This was also her last. It was a college Asian evangelical outreach. She was happy she played a supporting role. She played the part of an elderly woman in the very last row, away from the limelight. She filled in like a prop. When she was young, she was extremely active. We let her study modern dancing under the ex-dance director at HK Pearl TV. When she was 14, she had a surgery as a result of her bone cancer. Even with a segment of bone removed and replaced, she would still dance with her crutches in weddings. Glory called us during her rehearsals and right before her performance. She was freely expressing her excitement, and her nervousness. She was thrilled that her schoolmates were willing to include her in the performance. I was amazed she had let go of her crutch when she performed on stage. It was not that she could not dance like her friends in the front row. It was just that she could not. She did not want to play the tomboy character in the front row. Things were not the same any more. There’re certain characters that need to be filled in order to give a complete performance. She understood, and she did not mind playing an old lady. Four stages in life are unavoidable---birth, aging, illness and death. It’s just that many struggle within these 4 stages and are unwilling to let go. Glory no longer compete for any particular role, all she did was to enjoy the rehearsals and tried her best to put forward a great performance.