Nov. 2005 Glory's Diary - Letter to Hannah

(Community : Story of Glory Hom)
Glory's Diary, Glory's Story,
Nov. ?? 2005 

To Hannah: (My best friend after she jumped down from GW Bridge)

You poopyhead you
Why did you never return my call?
That nigh when you decided,
Decided to deprive your parents, your brother,
Your friends, me of your existence.
It was probably late
In the night
In the cold
All alone
And no way to contact anyone
Why didn’t you just continue to walk home?
What made you take your life?
What was so unsolvable that gave
You enough courage to bring your first leg over the railing?
When did that first thought come to your mind?
Why didn’t you call me
Remember me?
I’m your best bus buddy.
We shared secrets, laughter & each others shoulder
Why have you hurt me like this.
Do you know how much I miss you and think of you?

Remember the time when we decided to make pillows for each other

I just gave up.
Instead I knitted you a pillow instead
You were the strong one the courageous one the risk taker.
You would’ve been great.
Even the very last action you did took courage.
But it was courageous used at the wrong situation.
The radios are starting to play Christmas songs.
Such cheery atmosphere, but I’m not happy at all.

Because I remember how we loved listening to Christmas decorations on that school bus where we made our best bus buddy part and where our friendship bond.

Shopping together early in the morning and going to Barnes & Noble early in the morning.

Going to the park at the elementary school & just being kids.

 
What do I wish for this Christmas?
I wish for something impossible.
I wish you were here with me right now.
I wish you had called me that night.
I wish you had seek God your Savior to help you.
I wish it was like old times.
 
Hannah, do you know how silly I am?
I still have you on my AIM buddy list.
Your home & cell phone number is still on my cell phone.
 

Hannah, I must confess, I regret now saying my final goodbye.

Maybe if I had ….. then maybe that would have helped me have a better closure.

But I was selfish Hannah.
I’m not a good friend.
I worried more about that exam.

I should’ve just gotten on that greyhound & came to say goodbye.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

Maybe if I never sat the last goodbye, then you’re not really gone yet.