Sept 18, 4:55 am in ICU
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Community : Story of Glory Hom)
Glory's Story,
Father's words,
She's gone, where should I go then?
Sept 18, 2007 4:55am, ICU
It was so still, so absolutely quiet.....no more cries from Glory's struggle, no more screams, and of course, no more laughters from her....no sound of heart beat from the machines, no sound of breathing....the nurse turned off all the equipments. How I hoped that she could also shut down the love I have for Glory, and my memories of her. All of a sudden, I found the stillness frightening.
I recall when Glory was young, Glory would be forever asking me, 'Daddy, what is this?' When she grew older, she would be whining, 'Daddy, I want this, I want that.....' And when she grew even older, she would be nagging me, 'Daddy, I want to go here, I want to go there...' Even when she entered college, she would come to me, 'Daddy, should I do this, should I do that...?' From this point on, no one would be asking me about this and about that....no one would be there calling out Daddy, or Mommy....
When Glory had her bone marrow transplant 2 years ago, we came to know this father, who accompanied her daughter from Taiwan to study in the States. Upon graduation from high school, this daughter had blood cancer. They had no legal status in the States. They could not communicate fluently in English. They had no relatives, no friends, nothing.....They lived in the McDonald House , living off a meager supply of cash sent overseas by the mother. Every person who got to know them extended help. With cancer, the daughter could not attend college. In order to be with her, the father gave up his management position in Taiwan. For several years, they clung onto each other. The father stayed close to her bedside in the hospital. For endless nights, when the daughter was very sick, he would spend the night sleeping in a chair in her room. He would eat the leftovers from his daughter's dinner plate. This daughter was next to Glory's room. The two called each other on their internal phone lines. They passed little notes for mutual support and encouragement. Glory did not know how she could bring this friend to Christ. This good friend of hers , Ai-May, caught an infection that went beyond control and passed away. The father guarded her body for 6 hours. He refused to leave the room, nor would he allow the nurse to remove her body. The nurse told us the sorrowful atmosphere was so intense, it was simply unbearable to take for anyone who attempted to comfort him. He held his daughter's body for several hours, and would not let go. I felt that he was a great father, he portrayed that immense love the heavenly Father has for us.
Today, two years later, I come face to face with the cold, hard body of my daughter Glory. I did not wail. I did not hold her, or refuse to let go. On the contrary, this body whom I had carried since she was young, seemed very foreign to me. This is Glory's body, but this is no longer Glory, for a few hours ago, I have already felt that she has left. At that time, a group of doctors was trying to revive her. I already knew she was about to leave, she was no longer struggling, even the little strength she had in her grip was slipping. I wanted to hold her hand tighter, but my spirit seemed to have heard her say, ' Daddy, it's so painful....just let me go...'
Originally I had wanted to say, 'Glory, Daddy is here by your side, don't be afraid, hang on!' But instead , I told her, 'Glory, go to our heavenly Father in peace, you don't have to worry about Daddy and Mommy, we will be thinking of you all our lives, wait for us.'