The funeral arrangement of Glory

(Community : Story of Glory Hom)
Father's words, Glory's story,

A father recalls the funeral arrangement of his daughter……

I returned home from the hospital on Sept 18, to tell my wife our daughter has left us, she has fallen asleep….We cried, and reminded each other not to be too sad. Eight years of suffering is enough for Glory. Now that she has passed away, we should do this last thing for her, a funeral after her own desire. She has indeed rested well, but for us, it was many long and sleepless nights. How God Jehovah buried Moses came to my mind. It was an unusual burial. Moses, one who was admired by all Israelites, head of the country, a national hero, a leader, a savior to the people; one full of faith and power, unsurpassed in what he did for his people. He set the laws and orders for the nation. He was spiritual and giving. He served his generation selflessly. Yet God prepared for him a closed funeral, not a national burial. When he died, there was no one by his side. There was no reiteration of his glorious past, no eulogy, no wailing, no renting of garments in grief. Nobody even knew where he was buried. There was no grave, no body. Where can people go to remember him? God did not want the Israelites to be overly sorrowful? God Himself was too grieved? Jehovah Himself buried Moses. If it was at all possible, how I wish I could have dug Glory’s grave. I was of no match to God. I wanted to give Glory’s friends this one last opportunity, an unforgettable funeral. When Glory left, she was not able to say goodbye to all of her loved ones. At least, this would allow those who loved her to bid her farewell.

The day before she passed away, I asked her what kind of funeral she would like to have. With no hesitation, she immediately said, “ I want a white tulip funeral.” She was born in Amsterdam, Holland. From when she first learnt that tulip is the national flower, she loved tulips. As I placed an order for tulips, I realized September is not the month for tulips. There was none to be had. But God had made preparation for her. Her uncle’s friend in the Holland Embassy promised to try his best. Three days later, beautifully cultivated white tulips were flown over to the church of the memorial service. There were enough even for the site of burial, as each said goodbye and released a white tulip into the grave.

I have promised Glory that our family would be buried together. She was always thoughtful of others.

“Daddy, do you have money for 3 consecutive burial grounds?” She asked.

“I don’t have the money now, but our heavenly Father will provide,” I comforted her.

(As it turned out, three coffins can be laid into one burial site. According to her personality, she definitely would not mind being on the very bottom.)

By 9 am that morning, we had to decide on a church for the memorial service. I called Rev. Leung of Chinese Alliance Church. He immediately committed his place. It was until later that I found out he had to move all the fellowships and other church activities in order to let us use the sanctuary. God truly loved Glory. He gave her the best. This sanctuary is the biggest, the most beautiful and the most contemporary in Chinatown. When arrangements with the funeral parlor was made, the time and date confirmed, I realized we only had 3 days. I turned on Glory’s cell phone. Her school friends left her messages almost every day. Shortly after we notified a few closer friends of hers, the entire world knew. The news of her passing away was posted on the website. On the day of her passing, there were almost a hundred messages left on the site. Some were words of encouragement, others, words of comfort, astonishment and grief. 13,000 hits came in that day from around the world for her news. We finalized all arrangement --- the pastor whom Glory loved would speak, the choir from church fellowships, the ushers, the musical performance from a school friend….every body wanted to chip in. We all knew this was the last thing we could do for Glory.

By Wednesday, all the program and names were confirmed for the bulletin. The bulletin designer dropped his work and went full force to completing the special edition in memory of Glory, in time for the memorial service. The boss of my brother-in-law was willing to help unconditionally with the printing, all 1400 copies, within a day.

Finally, the place of burial, something deemed very important to both Chinese and the Jewish people. For us, there is only one condition. It has to be within the city, accessible by subway, so that we can visit regularly. In the past, over holidays, we would take Glory to the mall, or out of town…In years to come, we would especially miss her during holiday time. To visit her grave would be our first priority. I do not know how God chose Moses’ burial ground. A beautiful view? Good fung-shiu? These are excuses coughed up by those who want to make money off us. Unfortunately, those who do not understand death, those who are influenced by superstition, family members affected by culture and customs, might take some comfort in such beliefs.

The manager of the burial site is also a good brother of ours in Christ.

What he said had truly helped us, “ This pain will be with you for your entire lifetime, it is a matter of how we live with it.”

He respected the many different ways mourners used to express themselves. Chinese may bring a chicken or a roast pig. They burn incense and paper money. To respect does not mean that you identify with them. To not identify does not mean you disagree with them. Behind their various religious style of remembering their loved ones, there is still that loving pain toward the dead. When you reject their action, in a way, you have denied their feelings. No wonder people think Christians are disrespectful, and have denied their family and relatives once they come to know God. Probably this is the folly of us pastors. We draw the line from the intellect (or better put, truth) point of view, forgetting that it is not possible to draw a clear line when it comes to human emotions.

A perfect funeral is not based on how well our preparation goes. It depends on the hearts of those who attend. They clearly expressed their love and admiration for Glory. We could see that Glory was truly worth their love. Because we all loved her, we love one another. Our hugs and tears stemmed from our love for her. A person’s most memorable success in life is nothing other than ‘love’.

‘Love’ fulfills and perfects what a person’s life is after.